SoSlists is a monthly playlist curated by select humans that work in and/or love music. This month's list is by T. Cole Rachel.
"As a queer teenager growing up on a farm in Oklahoma during the ‘80s, I lived in a perpetual state of panic and fear. Terrified by my own sexuality and always anxious that I would somehow be outed, music and books became my primary source of solace and escape. Driving a tractor in lazy circles across the sprawling wheat fields behind our house, I’d spend hours listening to a dubbed cassette copy of The Cure’s Head on the Door and daydreaming about a time in my life when I could freely be myself, preferably many many miles away from the dust and dirt of my childhood home. Even after coming out in college, my early twenties were a constant state of emotional upheaval and I struggled with self-loathing and intense suicidal ideation. Now, many years later (and after lots of therapy), it makes sense that I’d eventually become a music journalist for a living. Music has always provided (and still provides) a lifeline that has kept me tethered to this world during moments when nothing else could. I am so grateful for it."
-T. Cole Rachel
T. COLE RACHEL is a writer, teacher and ceramic cat collector who lives in Brooklyn. He creates poems, essays, and all manner of culture-related journalism. His work has appeared in Interview, The FADER, Pitchfork, The New York Times Magazine, Bon, Man Of The World, OUT, Dossier, Maxim and Stereogum. He is a regular contributor to Pitchfork and has served as a Contributing Editor at both V Magazine and Interview. He teaches a recurring poetry workshop, Poetry & Photography, via the Camera Club of NYC. His books include Surviving the Moment of Impact and Bend Don't Shatter. He is currently Senior Editor at The Creative Independent.